Though it doesn't quite fit this thread, I'd like to offer something we used to sing in the 50s which went :- Five foot four, fat galore, when she walks she rocks the floor - has anybody seen my gal? Two left feet, eyes that meet, but she's got that rock-n-roll beat - has anybody seen my gal? Now when she reads a book she cannot look at the bottom of the pages, there's so much size between her eyes she hasn't seen her feet for ages; every night she holds me tight and I'm completely out of sight - has anybody seen my gal?
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