THE PRIZE WINNING HEREFORD BULL
(Traditional)

I went down to the Abingdon market
The pens with livestock were full (they were full)
I saw 'im up there in the corner
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
A more beautiful beastie had never been sired
With two horn up front and a big 'un behind
A terrible beast for the breedin'
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

The auctioneer mounted 'is rostrum
'is voice it was loud, it was full (it was full)
Says'e who'll give me five hundred guineas
for me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
So I sticks up me 'and and I pulls out me cash
Down come 'is 'ammer wi' a bloody great crash
Knocked down to that gent in the corner
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

When I gets 'im 'ome to me farmyard
The pens with livestock were full (they were full)
So I sticks 'im in wi' me 'eifers
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
When he got in amongst 'em, oh Lord 'ow they squealed
'e chased every 'eifer ten times round the field
A terrible beast for the breedin'
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

*So I sticks 'im in wi' me ewe lambs
but he only matted their wool (ted their wool)
so I put 'im in wi' me draft mare
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
When I got back from milkin', oh Lord what a sight
An' the mare pushin' backwards wi' all of her might
A beast for miscegenation
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

Come the day of the Sunday school outing
The picnic baskets were full (they were full)
In the field where they chose to 'ave it
Were me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
When 'e got in amongst 'em, that noble old sire
'e buggered the vicar, the curate and choir
A terrible beast for religion
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

Come the day that I 'ad to sell 'im
With eyes me tears they were full (they were full)
When 'e dies, 'e'll go up to 'eaven
will me prize winnin' 'ereford bull
But whether 'e goes up to 'eaven or 'ell
'e'll bugger Saint Peter, the Devil as well
A terrible beast for salvation
Me prize winnin' 'ereford bull

Notes:
As a child, I used to go to a folk club in Abingdon, Berkshire, UK. The old boys used to sing this song and I had a great memory for lyrics, especially 'naughty' ones. This is exactly how I remember they sang in, in a heavy Berkshire accent, including "with eyes me tears they were full". The verse marked * (about the sheep and the mare) is not traditional. I added it in later years in New Zealand, because it is a true story (!) and fits so well.

AJW