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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,anon the uk folkscene and sex changes (173* d) RE: the uk folkscene and sex changes 22 Apr 10

No. Not the anon who writes all those wonderful songs and poems we all love. The anon who has to be this way because of fear but who really wishes to make a contribution to this thread. I hope Joe can find some way to post this onto the thread and allow it to stay as I am obviously not logged in. I fear the bullying that has occurred on other sites that has lead to me leaving. It is not just me who gets bullied though. Those that are seen as my friends also get tarred. I happen to think that Catters wouold not allow it but it is best if it does not start to begin with.

Joe, and many of the others here, has shown the compassion and attitude that I have been so lucky to get from the majority of those I have encountered on the folk scene and in the clubs. Yes: I am "one of them"!

I have no wish to be in anyone's face or to be 'flying the trans flag' on the site. I am only an expert on one thing in this area. Me. Being transsexual is different for everyone, just like being who you are is different from being anyone else.

I am not that 'convincing' as a female in looks. I am not pretty. My voice is still deep too, sadly. No amount of hormones will change that for me. Whether the surgeon's knife changed my gender or not does not really affect me. It allowed me the chance to get my body some way toward being congruent to my mind. Nature or nurture? I have no idea. I am just me. Trying to integrate and have a 'normal' a life as possible. Whatever normal is supposed to be. We each have our own comfort zone for what consists being normal.

I have not come across any open discrimination against me in the clubs. I have been welcomed all over the place and felt included in all events. I have had the occasional bad comment from some drunken pratt in the bar who thought it clever to say something 'smart' (like I never heard it ever before). As far as 'folkies' go I have only ever been given affection and aencouragement to my face. I have made lots of friends and they have never been afraid to be seen with me. I am always welcomed to back to anywhere I have visited.

Many top singers have been more than kind to me, in advice and in songs, and my life is quite enhanced by people's acceptance. My obvious 'difference' seems to not matter to the mass of people. Not everyone agrees with what I have done/had done, or what they see me as, but they are in the minority.

George Papevgaris wrote a song about a transsexual's experience in the hospital. "Toni with an 'i'". I marvelled at it as he really seemed to be touching on something I have experienced in real life.

I have had to follow people onto stage that have sung one of the crossdresser/tranvestite type folk songs that cause such a giggle in many. In truth they are funny to most I know. It's hard to have to manage that aspect at times but manage I do. I usually use humour to get past the few moments that follow. Being angry at people for making genuine mistakes is not on. I get the 'he' and 'his' in people's conversations around me. I have to let it pass. Most do not do it maliciously and gender cueing can be ressponsible with no intent to hurt meant. One learns to live with it. You know when someone is being genuine or being an ass.

What my chromosomes are I have no idea. What does it feel like to be a woman? I have no idea either. I know what it feels like to be me (and that is not a man). Social construct? No idea again. All I know is what it feels like to be in my body and live this life. All I want to do is live that life and not upset anyone.

In folk music I have found a vent for all sorts of emotions. I have learned a great deal. I have made many good friends. My gender is important to me, I know, but I try not to make it affect others. I am lucky. I get to appreciate every day who and what I am. Yes, it could be easier, but it could also be a lot harder.

People should stop concerning themselves on how and why people like me live their lives. Just accept we are part of nature as anything else and get on with their own lives. Folk music has given me a great deal but, in the end analysis, it's the people in it that have made the difference.

""You're neither unnatural, nor abominable, nor mad; you're as much a part of what people call nature as anyone else; only you're unexplained as yet -- you've not got your niche in creation." Radclyffe Hall The Well of Loneliness, 1928"

Can someone try and find a way to keep this in the thread?

And to those here who have took the stand I have not the courage to make ___ Thank You

    Of course, this message can remain undeleted. We do make accommodations for anonymity when there is a compelling reason. Thank you for helping us to understand.
    -Joe Offer-

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