It's a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes. We should wait awhile for the dust to settle.



·         I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a "weapon of ash eruption".



·         It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.



·         Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.



·         Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.



·         Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it's a no-fly zone.



·         Richard Curtis is working on a new rom-com about people stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is "Lava Actually".



·         I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.



·         Volcano in Iceland. What next Earthquake in Asda?



·       Woke this morning to find every surface in the house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulphur in the air. No change, I've been married to that bone-idle slob for 20 years.


RtS