Smedley writes "One question I'd like to ask, however. Why is the issue of attractiveness so important to you now you've transitioned ? and did you care so much about your looks when you were still inhabiting your previous identity ? (that's two questions!)"

I brought attractiveness up because it was raised in the thread. The comment about being ugly and being better guided by a hard psychiatrist rather than a skilled surgeon. The point I was trying to address was that I was not good looking as a male either. Would that have meant I had no rights to be treated as a male? Thus. I am an ugly female. That's just tough really but I still need to be able to live.

For many 'transfolk' it is imperative they 'pass' in their acquired gender. I stopped worrying about it a long time. My physicality would give me away all the time that I had a different history than how I present myself now. So I just binned it and got on with having an 'ugly' life. Not being physically more femanine is certainly a drawback as it opens me to the ridicule of fools far more than if I looked more female. But we all have to suffer fools often, male and female, so why should I expect to be treated different? I would like to be prettier though, there is no doubt, but I have to work with what I have.

Murray again raises interesting points and issues. I cannot answer for the person he makes mention of. I can only answer for me. He could do worse than ask them how it happened if they are approachable.

As for me. Yes, I transitioned quite late. Many do as they try to adhere to societal 'norms' and stereotypes. Try to fit into what is expected of them as a man. In my case I knew something was very wrong but had no idea just what. I thought I was a freak and a pervert of some kind (many still do! lol). I really did try to be a good man. Beauty aside I am a lot better woman. Finally there comes a day when a threshold is reached and passed. The genie pops out of the bottle and, in my case, there was no putting her back. Here I am. Those that knew me beforehand and have stayed with me all say that this is me. They prefer me this way and can see how much happier I am and relaxed. My daughter prefers me this way too. I am, as I have said, blessed by those in my life.

My contributions to this thread are not in any way designed to get a sympathy vote. I merely want to try and explain some of the things that I know people may struggle with. It's not sympathy I need. Just be yourselves (though I appreciate the kind comments I admit).

*waves to gloria* Sorry. Way back I had missed you out somehow. Good luck to you too.

Anyone have any more glaring and honest questions then ask openly and I will try and answer openly.

Thanks again

anon