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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,anon the uk folkscene and sex changes (173* d) RE: the uk folkscene and sex changes 07 May 10

Smedley writes "One question I'd like to ask, however. Why is the issue of attractiveness so important to you now you've transitioned ? and did you care so much about your looks when you were still inhabiting your previous identity ? (that's two questions!)"

I brought attractiveness up because it was raised in the thread. The comment about being ugly and being better guided by a hard psychiatrist rather than a skilled surgeon. The point I was trying to address was that I was not good looking as a male either. Would that have meant I had no rights to be treated as a male? Thus. I am an ugly female. That's just tough really but I still need to be able to live.

For many 'transfolk' it is imperative they 'pass' in their acquired gender. I stopped worrying about it a long time. My physicality would give me away all the time that I had a different history than how I present myself now. So I just binned it and got on with having an 'ugly' life. Not being physically more femanine is certainly a drawback as it opens me to the ridicule of fools far more than if I looked more female. But we all have to suffer fools often, male and female, so why should I expect to be treated different? I would like to be prettier though, there is no doubt, but I have to work with what I have.

Murray again raises interesting points and issues. I cannot answer for the person he makes mention of. I can only answer for me. He could do worse than ask them how it happened if they are approachable.

As for me. Yes, I transitioned quite late. Many do as they try to adhere to societal 'norms' and stereotypes. Try to fit into what is expected of them as a man. In my case I knew something was very wrong but had no idea just what. I thought I was a freak and a pervert of some kind (many still do! lol). I really did try to be a good man. Beauty aside I am a lot better woman. Finally there comes a day when a threshold is reached and passed. The genie pops out of the bottle and, in my case, there was no putting her back. Here I am. Those that knew me beforehand and have stayed with me all say that this is me. They prefer me this way and can see how much happier I am and relaxed. My daughter prefers me this way too. I am, as I have said, blessed by those in my life.

My contributions to this thread are not in any way designed to get a sympathy vote. I merely want to try and explain some of the things that I know people may struggle with. It's not sympathy I need. Just be yourselves (though I appreciate the kind comments I admit).

*waves to gloria* Sorry. Way back I had missed you out somehow. Good luck to you too.

Anyone have any more glaring and honest questions then ask openly and I will try and answer openly.

Thanks again


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