Hi STM,

What an interesting post. I have never had such difficulties myself so it's hard to really understand what you're experiencing, but I really feel for you as I love singing too! From the way you write I am assuming you are in the UK rather than the US. Could you give a clue as to where you are in the country? I am heavily into Sacred Harp singing and there is a fair bit going on in this country (of course there is tons in the US if that's where you are - it's very strong in Alabama, Georgia and New England). I could point you in the direction of a singing local to you. Sacred Harp is four-part unaccompanied harmony singing and it's really about belting it out loud. Hopefully you would be carried along within the whole sound and this would help you keep in tune!

However I know for a fact that we do have one or two rogue voices in our regulars who are rarely in tune at all! Cath Tyler, one of our mainstay singers, always says at Singing Schools (where you're taught a bit about shape notes) that Sacred Harp is great for people who were told as kids that they couldn't/shouldn't sing...! The other thing to mention is that we sing in keys of convenience - i.e. every time a song is sung it may be pitched slightly differently according to who pitches it - so that could be an issue for you? Anyway this may not be your thing but I just thought I'd mention it - personally I love the sound of Sacred Harp singing which is quite unlike anything else. Here are a couple of links to give you an idea...

Awake my Soul trailer

Cath leading at Marsden SH Convention 2008

Cheers
Maria