Several years ago, I worked in a small hotel. Occasionally, (very occasionally) a singing session would occur. The night porter's party-piece was a song that I never heard (or heard mentioned) anywhere else. I have no idea of the song's history, or where he got it.

A recent visit to the hotel brought back some memories, and it occurred to me, that it is just possible that I'm the only person alive who knows this song. It is not,(imho) a great song, but it does have a certain novelty value, plus the advantage that you already know the tune (The Mountains of Mourne).
BTW, Mountjoy, is a prison in Dublin. It is mentioned in a lot of Irish "Rebel" songs. This is a more light-hearted reference.

THE MOUNTJOY HOTEL

Now In Dublin's big town, we have first-class hotels,
Which give board & lodging to all the big swells:
With blinds on the windows, & bells on the doors,
And beautiful carpets laid out on the floors.
But the grandest of all is now in full swing,
A beautiful building controlled by the king:
I was there once myself, so I'm able to tell,
There's no digs in Dublin, like the Mountjoy Hotel.

I was met at the train with porter & bus,
They put me aboard with a great deal of fuss.
I was drove through the streets like the Viceroy of state,
And we never drew rein till we stopped at the gate.
I was brought to a room where they took down my name,
They asked my address & the reason I came.
When I answered these questions, the guard rang a bell,
I was ordered a bath in the Mountjoy Hotel.

Well, after the bath I was very nigh froze,
And the waiter, he brought me a new suit of clothes.
The finish was fine, & the pattern was grand,
But over it all was a terrible brand.
Now, the breakfast consisted of fish, ham & eggs,
So, I drained out my stir-about can to its dregs.
When I asked for the bill, sure the waiter near fell,
It's all supplied free at the Mountjoy Hotel

I was there for some months, as I could not well go,
They were all so kind & they treated me so,
With light & attention & everything free,
Not to mention the extras, & afternoon tea.
At last the day came for me to depart,
And I nearly grew sick with the joy in my heart,
For with all its fine comforts, the truth I must tell,
I will not go again, to the Mountjoy Hotel.
^^