Torpedo Jim

Come, everybody, and I'll tell you a tale,
Of a big submarine that was built like a whale.
The number they gave her was the K-23,
And the crew that they carried was as tough as could be.

Torpedo Jim was the K-Boat commander,
Torpedo Jim, with a face like a file,
Torpedo Jim ate a horseshoe for breakfast,
And when danger was near him's the time he could smile.

There was Dynamite Casey and Gunpowder Lee,
Shoot-em-up Riley and Choke-'em MacGee.
They picked out a captain who was lanky and slim,
He was a bad man from 'Frisco called Torpedo Jim.

Torpedo Jim, with an eye like an eagle,
Torpedo Jim, with a wart on his nose,
Torpedo Jim was a dog of the ocean,
With brine on his whiskers and salt on his clothes.

Early one morning his heart beat with hope
As he anchored his eye on the old periscope.
He turned to the gunner and he said with a grin,
"There's a cargo of sauerkraut that's bound for Berlin."

He shut off the motors, gave the signal to stop,
He let out the ballast and rose to the top,
He aimed the torpedo and they cried, "Let her go!"
Now the devil is going to have a feast down below.

Torpedo Jim hit her right in the middle,
Torpedo Jim had an aim that was true,
Torpedo Jim sent that cargo to Hades,
For he knew that the devil liked sauerkraut too.

They bobbed all around, up and down on the foam,
First they headed her east, then they headed for home,
Jim was excited as they sailed in the bay,
For his wife didn't know he was going away.

When he stepped off the boat and he stepped on the shore,
He knew right away she was peevish and sore,
He tried to explain and she flew in a rage,
So for safety he hid with a lion in its cage.

Torpedo Jim was as meek as a baby,
Torpedo Jim had to run for his life,
Torpedo Jim was a salt of the ocean,
But tough as he was, he's afraid of his wife.