I met that bastard Chongo 37 years ago. I was with some of my buddies from the NSG and we was moving contraband hooch across the lake from Canada, about 4500 gallons of "Moose Juice", as we call it...damn good stuff. Sells great in Chicago. Anyways, me and the other lads was just tyin' up at the dock around 3 AM when the lousy little chimp gets the drop on us with a loaded Thompson. Smilin' Albert goes for his gat and Chongo lets fly with a burst that knocks him right off the boat. The rest of us froze. Smilin' Albert is thrashin' around in the water as the cops close in from all sides.

"I'll get you for this, you lousy little chimp freak!" I say to Chongo, and he just grins at me..."Enjoy your stay in the can, Alfred! Don't forget to write."

I swore that someday I would wipe that smile off his ugly face.

3 years later I met him in a bar in West Chicago. He was drinkin' whisky and playin' poker with 3 baboons. I went for him with a pool cue and busted it right over his head, but he come back at me with a kick that drove my gonads up into my occipital lobe and then he busted a chair over my head. I woke up lyin' in the alleyway, and there was a damn stray dog peein' on my leg!!! I still walk funny to this day from that kick, and it is all on account of Chongo!

5 years after that we had Chongo in our grasp and we tied him to a telephone pole out in the sticks and sat around talkin' about how we was gonna roast him alive there and leave him there for the buzzards. We would have done it too, but along comes some of his flatfoot pals and they bust us instead. I get charged with kidnappin' and get put in the slammer for 20 years with time off for good behaviour.

I got out in 1996. First thing I did was look up Chongo. I went to his office and had a little talk with him. I told him I was gonna let him sweat for awhile, wonderin' what I was gonna do to him. He laughed at me.

That was 14 years ago. I been biding my time, but this gorilla does not forget to fulfill a contract. That miserable little fleabitten bowlegged simp chimp is gonna go down, and he is gonna go down hard. It will not be nice. It could happen any day. When it does happen, the story of this star-crossed simian "couple" will be complete, and Big Alfred will have the last laugh for all time.