What a coward!
I wait until I become an anonymous guest before I give my 2010 version of one of the "Merry Muses"

WAD YE DAE THAT.

Guid wife,when your guidman"s fae hame
Micht I but be sae bauld
As come tae your bed chaumer
When winter nichts are cauld?
As come tae your bed chaulmer
When nichts are cauld and wat
And lie in your guidman"s stead
Wad ye dae that?

Young man, forsooth I wad be laith
Tae turn doon sic an offer
But tell me lad whit likes yer graith
And is it aa in order?
Guidwife, ye needna speir that gait
It is baith lang and fat
and made for your contentment Dame
I"se warrent that!

Young man an ye suld be sae kind
When oor guidman"s fae hame
As come tae my bed chaumer
When I am laid my lain
And lie in oor guidman"s stead
But its I will tell ye what
He f**** me five times ilka nicht
Could you dae that?