Whoa, dude - there's ALWAYS another side to the story!


GO ASK ELMO
Tune: Go Ask Alice - Grace Slick
New Words: Al Boyce (Trapper)

Watching Bert and Ernie
Baked as I could be
When that small dude who talks funny
Made my sanity go free
I saw Elmo
On Public TV

So I thought I'd bang my drum set
Along with Elmo's repartee
"Elmo wants his milk now,
Elmo wants his nice cookie."
Twittered Elmo
On Public TV

As his mouth moved on the telly
These words he spoke to me
"Elmo thinks you're drumming sucks dude,
Just a Ringo wanna-be"
Thus spake Elmo
From Public TV

This set my rage on fire
Elmo was trash-talking me!
What had caused St.Elmo's ire?
Why did we so disagree?
F*cking Elmo!
From Public TV

I had to split the scene, man
Make like an escapee
Go down to Guitar Center
And blow off this reverie
Forget Elmo
On Public TV

Who is banging on the drum set?
Who's that red guy that I see?
A six foot tall Elmo
Drumming to embarass me!
It was Elmo!
From Public TV!

Blindly I charged Elmo
Kill him, I'd guarantee!
I smacked him in his eyeball
I gouged him with my knee
I fought Elmo!
From Public TV!

Then Elmo ripped his head off
Pulled his hands off, one, two three!
Then Elmo shoved me backwards
Thru a glass case I didn't see
Evil Elmo!
From Public TV

I lay here in my bed now
Cut and bleeding as could be
Doctor said I was nearly
A double-amputee
From fighting Elmo
While on LSD!

LSD!
LSD!