POOR OLD UGLY GLADYS JONES
written by Don Bowman and Waylon jennings
Recorded by Don Bowman, Waylon Jennings, Bobby Bare and WIllie Nelson

album: Don Bowman and Friends
also can be found on Bear Family Box Set : Waylon Jennings The Journey: Six Strings Away

Lyrics:
There's a girl that lives down the block, face that'd stuff an eight day clock
Ugliest kid I ever seen, more like a nightmare than a dream
I'm talkn' 'bout Poor old Ugly Gladys Jones
Twenty, twenty, twenty, skin and bones
She measures twenty inches round from her nose right on down
(Poor old ugly Gladys Jones)

Her mother's never been the same
since the day ole Gladys came
Her daddy quietly popped the cork
and got stoned and shot a stork

A kidnappin' seemed the only way so her parents took all they'd made
Offered ten thousand dollars to the man crazy enough to take her off their hands
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones, her parents finally moved away from home
They sent her out to play and while she was gone they'd just move away
(Poor old ugly Gladys Jones)


She's tried everything she knows from beauty aids to fancy clothes
But even when she's at her best, she still looks like Chet Akins in a dress
Mother nature stopped for a rest and forgot to finish her I guess
But she's lookin' prettier everyday since her daddy bought RCA and TWA and

Poor old ugly Gladys Jones, her figures been declared a disaster zone
She's got everything it takes but the bricks are all out of place
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones
Poor old ugly Gladys Jones

Her daddy also bought MPA and downtown L.A.
And BM Gay and I saw him talking to some feller down in Texas bout a ranch name LBG…I mean J