* Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. * A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. * Practice safe eating - always use condiments. * A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. * Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. * He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. * A hangover is the wrath of grapes. * Corduroy pillows are making headlines. * Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? * Sea captains don't like crew cuts. * Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? * A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. * A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. * Without geometry, life is pointless. * When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. * Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red. * A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. * Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. * When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. * A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.. * What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!) * A backwards poet writes inverse. * In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes. * A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. * If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.. * With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor. * When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. * The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. * A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. * You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. * He often broke into a song because he couldn't find the key. * Every calendar's days are numbered. * A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and it taint mine. * A boiled egg is hard to beat. * He had a photographic memory that was never developed. * The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. * Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. * Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine . * When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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