My mate Mitch from Worksop wrote;

ENGLISH COUNTRY FOLK CLUB
(George Hill???)

How many kinds of singers do you find
In an English country folk club?
I'll take a bet I know what you get
In an English country folk club.

Some'll sing a dirty song,
Some'll get the words all wrong
Some stand supping beer with a finger in their ear,
And then softly croon out of key and out of tune,
In an English country folk club

How many kinds of musicians do you find,
In an English country folk club
I'll take a bet that I know what you get
In an English country folk club

Guitars swung across the hip,
Mandolins in a dainty grip,
Violins caressed, concertinas gently pressed,
In and out to the beat of a pipe that plays retreat,
In an English country folk club

And poets... don't forget your poets.

I've took a census of all the audiences
In an English country folk club
I'll take a bet that I know what you get
In an English country folk club

Bearded teachers they are found
Social workers they are bound
Dental technicians and local politicians
They just sit around the floor just joining in the chorus
Of an English country folk club.



I think I got that right. As well as Mitch, I know Ian Mather sings it too. There may be some more verses? I know Ian checks in on Mudcat, he may have a bit more of it.

Note from Joe Offer - Bradfordian thinks this was written by George Hill.