(just for the giggle folks)

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Brockville, ON who has a steady flow of
customers from the nearby high school. My parents live in a suburb of Toronto and one of my sisters, who lives in Kitchener, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and
selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Hamilton.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a life sentence with no parole for 25 years for a murder in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute
who lives in Windsor and is still a part-time "working girl" in a
brothel.

All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiance
and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin, who is a Leaf's fan???