THE LOO SONG
Charlie Gaskin
As recorded by The Corries on "Flower of Scotland"
I was born in Arkansas; me mammy was a squaw.
Pappy hailed from Timbuktu.
There's one thing I recall, that I hated most of all,
Was that little green shed, our loo.
CHORUS: It had a cedar shingle roof; I swear that was the truth,
Hinges all rusting and corroding.
'Twas a ghastly shade of green, the worst you've ever seen.
It stood there at the bottom of the garden.
Well, one day when I was six, I was chopping at some sticks
When a nasty little gleam came to my eye.
I ran down to the john and shoved it off the lawn
Into the river flowing gently by.
Soon my pappy called my name; he yelled, "Hey, what's ya game?
Why did you shove our privy in the drink?"
Well, then I shook with fear and shed a little tear.
I said it wasn't me, I didn't think. CHORUS
Then my pappy told to me, how George Washington felled the tree,
Then he went and owned up straight away,
And he because he told the truth, that honest youth forsooth,
His pappy didn't punish him that day.
Well, me being a little green, I thought I'd best come clean,
So I told my pappy how I sank that shack.
Well, with a rebel cry of glee, he hauled me o'er his knee,
Proceeded to wop me blue and black. CHORUS
Since I hadn't told a lie, I asked my pappy why.
He sat there and he answered with a frown:
"Well, George Washington’s pappy, he wasn't sitting in the tree
When that little bastard went and chopped it down."