Yet another version, learnt c. 1965 with Crawley RFC:

There once was a gay caballero
An exceedingly gay caballero
Who christened his prick Maria Marie -
Maria Marea Marino.

He went to a low-down casino
An exceedingly low-down casino
And with him he took Maria Marie
Maria Marea Marino.

He there met a fair senorino
An exceedingly fair senorino
And to her he showed Maria Marie
Maria Marea Marino.

He showed him her dark crevacino
An exceedingly dark crevacino
And in it he put Maria Marie
Maria Marea Marino.

He there caught the dreaded poxino
The exceedingly dreaded poxino
That withered the tip of Maria Marie
Maria Marea Marino.

He went to an old medecino
An exceedingly old medecino
Who cut of the tip of Maria Marie
Maria Marea Marino.

There now sits an old caballero
An exceedingly old caballero
Who sits on his rump, nursing the stump of
Maria Marea Marino.

The tune we rugby players used for this was the verse tune of "Sing Us Another One" (for limericks).

Jon Bartlett