Khandu: I tried to find the website for you, but couldn't, so I'll type 'em out the old-fashioned way-one finger at a time.

DINNY THE PIPER

In the year ninety-eight, when our troubles were great,
It was treason to be a militian,
And the black-whiskers said that we'd never forget,
And our history shows there were Hessians.
In these troubled times, oh, it was a great crime,
And murder, it never was riper.
Near the town of Glensheed, not an acre from Meath,
Lived one Dinny Burns, the piper.

Neither wedding nor wake would be worth a shake
If Dinny was not first invited,
For at squeezin' the bags, or emptyin' the kegs,
He astonished as well as delighted.
But, in these times, Dinny could not earn a penny.
Martial law had him stung like a viper,
And it kept him within 'til the bones of his skin
Grinned through the rags of the piper.

Well, one day it did dawn as Dinny crept home,
Back from a fair at Lafangen,
When, what should he see, from the branch of a tree
But the corpse of a Hessian there hanging.
Says Dinny, "These rogues have good boots. I've no brogues."
He took hold of those boots with a gryper,
And the boots were so tight, and he pulled with such might,
Legs and all came away with the piper.

Ah, then Dinny did run, for fear o' bein' hung
Till he came to Tim Haley's cabin.
Says Tim from within, "I can't let ye in.
Ye'll be shot if ye're caught out there rappin'."
So he went to the shed where the cow was in bed.
He begin with a whisp for to wiper.
And they lay down together in seven foot o' heather
And the cow took to huggin' the piper.

Well, the day it did dawn, and Dinny did yawn,
Then he stripped off the boots from the Hessian,
And the legs, by the law, he just left in the straw,
Then he slipped home with his new possessions.
Now breakfast bein' done, Tim sent his young son
To get Dinny up like a lamplighter.
When the legs there he saw, he flew up like a jackdaw
And said, "Daddy, the cow's et the piper!"

"Ah, bad luck to that baste! She'd no musical taste
To eat such a jolly old chanter.
A phad raid a mhic, take a lump of a stick.
Drive her off down the road and we'll canter."
Well, the neighbors were called. Mrs Kennedy bawled.
She began for to humbug and gyper,
And in sorrow they met, and their whistles they wet,
And like devils, lamented the piper.

Then the cow she was drove a mile or two off
Till they came to a fair at Killaly,
And there she was sold for four guineas in gold
To the clerk of the parish, Sean Daly.
Then they went to the tent, where the pennies were spent,
Tim bein' a jolly ol' swiper,
And who should be there, playin' the "Rakes of Kildare"?
Just your bold Dinny Burns, the piper!

Ah, then Tim gave a jolt like a half-drunken colt,
And he stares at the piper like a gamuck.
"I thought, by the powers, for the last eight hours,
You were playin' in the ould cow's stomach!"
Well, when Dinny observed that the Hessians being served
Began just to humbug and gyper,
Oh, in grandeur they met, and their whistles they wet,
And like devils they danced 'round the piper.

I had the wonderful luck to hear this performed live, by Andy M. Stewart himself. What a delight! Enjoy these much! ;-)g'chik

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 25-Aug-02.