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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,BigDaddy When is it time to 'call it a day'? (78* d) RE: When is it time to 'call it a day'? 03 Aug 11


I found the following on another website...I hope it may be helpful. "We are very prone to blaming others, blaming events for our circumstances in life. The brain is structured to protect our perception of events so it can maintain a strong consolidated self. In other words, we will unknowingly rationalize, confabulate, or attribute fault or reasons to other than ourselves. Lots of research in cognitive labs illustrate that we tend to do this.

We will interpret events so as not to threaten our core self. This may not necessarily be the way you intend it to occur but that's the way our brain is biased to work.

Therapy is about learning how we are responsible for our life. And with that learning comes greater self-esteem. Unless you are able to get to a place where you can take full responsibility for your decision you won't hold the lesson in your mind in the same way than if you made the decision yourself.

A good therapist is aware of his or her potential for influencing a client. S/he also knows that a therapist cannot know the best answer because ultimately s/he can never know your life as you know it. A good therapist will empower you to find the answers within yourself, so you can profit from this experience." ...from http://www.myshrink.com
    The reason I posted this is because when I read your response to my previous post, I remembered something I had been taught in Social Work school. We were always told not to give advice. In part, because the first thing people in crisis do is to reject advice. It doesn't matter whether the advice is good or bad, it's part of the human psyche to reject whatever is offered as "advice." You ultimately have to find our own way. If what you are doing isn't working, do something else.
    As another writer puts it: "Therapists aren't your yes man. We've got your back, yes, but this doesn't mean enabling you, coddling you, or hugging you better. We are trained to have difficult conversations with people to help people realize how they often make themselves miserable. Therapy, effective therapy, will have you pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, because change can be uncomfortable. Your therapist won't always be your favorite person, but if you stick with it, you can get some really fulfilling work done and be on your way to being the best you you can be!" While we at Mudcat may not be therapists, I think many of us have a tendency to try to fix things and people, or situations. We can't. While some may offer helpful tips (e.g. how to deal with instruments as tool vs asset), ultimately we all have to "fix" ourselves. Or not, as the case may be. I'll say no more.


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