Here's a version which was sung by Kenneth Horne on BBC Radio 4's "Round the Horne" in the late 1960s (Probable authors: Barry Tooke and Marty Feldman):

There's nothing left for me
Of things that used to be
When you deserted me
Except some souvenirs;
I didn't want the stuff:
It only gathers fluff
And I've got quite enough
Without your souvenirs.
Who needs a stuffed giraffe,
Disraeli's photograph,
A chap called Bickerstaffe?
It leads to complications;
I count them every day
And I can only say:
Please take your junk away;
Remove your souvenirs.

A partly smoked cheroot,
A left-foot rubber boot,
Some decomposing fruit
Among my souvenirs;
A pair of bathing drawers,
Assorted apple cores,
A set of folding doors
[Spoken: And how the hell they got there I shall never know.]
Among my souvenirs.
Oh, if I had my way
I'd throw it all away.
I think it's here to stay;
The Council won't remove it.
Of china there's a load;
Some Derbyshire and Spode
And half an old commode
Among my souvenirs.