Now Winifred Ewing's in trouble
For telling how we're in the hubble
She's our MP's have got the DT's
And spend all their time drinking doubles!

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

She's says they are aye on the batter
And politics just disnae matter
But Hannon MP, says he is TT
And aye toast Queen Lizzie in water

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

Way doon in the borders there’s Davie
Who swears that he never drinks heavy
He might lose his sense and then fall off the fence
So Davie steers clear of the bevvy

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

And then there's that Scotified limey
He's sober but sleekit and slimy
For after a dram he's Thomas not Tam
Instead of hootsmon it's cor blimey

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

So Willie's teetotal
With a nose that looks pregnant and mockled
He's aye on the doss fae Berwick to Ross
That bulge at his hips a hauf bottle

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

Now Winnie dinnae be silly
And blame them nice men on the telly
For Scottish MP's drink nothing but tea
For whisky's too Scotch for their bellies

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.

MP's, Scottish MP's
Your time's up now gentlemen please.