Having never met either you or your friend, Allison, I can nevertheless share your sense of devastation.

I came home from a weekend conference some years ago to news that my boss/friend was dead, and it was rapidly confirmed that this was 'suspicious'. Waiting for any information was emotionally draining; waiting for an arrest and a trial (several months) was nervewracking; and waiting for a verdict (to help us come to terms and make some sense of the horror of Mary's death) was a nightmare, because the trial was abandoned.

You can never change what has happened, but please try to focus on the good memories -- it's the only way to proceed, and I'm absolutely sure that it's what your friend would have wished.

Heartfelt condolences!