Here it is, at long last.


YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP ON SHOWING IT
(Cosmotheka--"A Little Bit off the Top"; 1974)

Now to talk about me wife, well I know it is a sin
But I don't mind telling you me wife drinks gin
It's coloured her nose and it looks such a fright
In the dark you would take it for a moonlight night
One night she did a little too much so I toddled off to bed
She blew out the light, and her nose shone bright, so to Mary Jane I said,
"You don't want to keep on showing it, Mary
"You don't want to keep on showing it."
Well under her clothes she poked her nose
In the dark I commenced to doze
Oh what a fright in the middle of the night
When she started blowing it
'Cause she blew me out of bed so again I said
"You don't want to keep on showing it".

Now one day I took her out to Barnet Fair
My word! Didn't all the people stare!
Spotting her nose, they laughed and they said,
"Gov'nor, did you pick it from a strawberry bed?"
A big wooden ball from a coconut stall at Mary's nose got shied--
They took the old gal for an old Aunt Sal so again to her I cried,
"You don't want to keep on showing it, Mary
"You don't want to keep on showing it."
Well, I bunkered up for a donkey ride;
The donkey spotted her nose and he shied.
She fell upon her head when a policeman said
"Blimey, ain't you going it?
Well, you better get some clothes for to cover up your nose
'Cause you don't want to keep on showing it!"

Well, walking down the lane on a very dark night,
Poor Mary's nose was shining bright,
A man with a gun came passing by,
Shot Mary's nose for a big bar fly
We was bolting again for the railway train when the guard stuck out his head
He said "Danger on the Line!" I said, "Not this time!" but again to her I said...
"You don't want to keep on showing it, Mary
"You don't want to keep on showing it."
She hid it again in the railway train
The boys and the girls, they was having a game.
Oh what a lark in the tunnel in the dark
We were not long in knowing it,
Cause they all began to shout "Put it out, put it out,
You don't want to keep on showing it."