Weeping child presents himself at the Customer Care counter in a big store. "I've lost my Mum" he wailed. "Oh!" said the concerned lady, "What's she like?" After a little thought he replies "Vodka and big dicks."
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TRUE story like the baseball one above. During a lull in proceedings at a cricket match, the commentator helpfully advised his listeners, "And the batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie."
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sj