I'm going to stop being LACU soon (although not on this thread)--I'm hearing from enough 'catters who know me under my real name to make this a bit uncomfortable.

People have given some excellent tips. I think now that what I was asking for isn't advice about folk music at all--or at least it's advice with much wider validity. And it's been given, for which I'm very grateful. Summing up:

Q: Why isn't it happening for me?

Answers:
"Sour grapes ain't good" (Blandiver)

Do you really want it to happen? What are you doing about it? Are you complaining because you've made an effort and got nowhere, or because you don't want to make an effort? (Tootler, treewind)

Are you good enough? Really? Is there some practising you could be doing instead of feeling sorry for yourself? (Will Fly, Blandiver)

Are you trying to sell tofu to steak-eaters (or vice versa)? Might it be a better idea to try a different approach? (also Will)

"Being a musician is a matter of quiet humility; you know you've been chosen but it might not be clear what for. ... The real thing is just a matter of accepting the calling & being prepared to pay your dues & being philosophical about people liking your shit or not. Be true to yourself; what happens happens, what doesn't happen, doesn't." (Blandiver again)

Interesting to get such similar advice from two such different musicians as WF and B.

One final, personal note. (Handy things, pseudonyms).

"I get more pleasure singing whilst walking on the beach than I ever do performing in a Folk Club" (Blandiver)
I know just what this means. I haven't lived by the sea since I was a kid, but I used to really go places singing down the length of a windy beach (there to dance beneath the diamond sky... he knew what he was talking about). And that was when I didn't even know the old songs--walking the dog with Tam Lin would be a meditation in itself. (Wait till my wife gets home. "I've had a brilliant idea, we're moving to Formby. And getting a dog.")

Anyway... what you don't get that way is the applause. And God, I love the applause. But talking about walking on the beach reminds me how lonely I was growing up--and maybe what I really like about the applause is that it's the sound of people saying "we like you". And the reason I long to be offered work, without ever actually asking for work, is that I think it's only if something's offered freely that you know they're doing it because they like you.

Hangups, in short. To be ignored. Concentrate on music.

Many thanks, everyone--you've given me a lot to think about.