It really interesting how you guys are all saying the same thing and still managing to argue about it. Why don't you take things one small point at a time with the goal of finding what you agree on?

I've been reading this thread hoping to pick up some tips about learning to play by ear, which I am slow at. Since I'm equally slow at reading music, getting new tunes takes a while. After 42 years of being a performing musician, perhaps I should just accept that I have different skills and move on, but it would be nice to be quicker at picking up tunes by hearing them. Most folks have told me they sing the tune and then learn it on an instrument, but I can't sing, so that method is out. I have a good but not excellent ear, and there seems to be a disconnect between my brain and my vocal chords. Any other good suggestions?