Oh yeah? Well, here is...

The, like, Code Of The East, eh?

Always try to find out stuff abowt a a person's passed. You might need it so, like, you can enbarrass them and get some advanatagge over them.

Steal another man's horse, bike, car, whatever...if he ain't watchin'. He shoulda been watchin', right?

Defend yourself whenever necessary. This I agree with!

Look out for your own. You bet yer flippin' life!

Remove your pants before sittin' on hte john.

Never order anything weaker than beer.

Don't make a threat without first preparin' a esxcape root.

Never pass anyone on the trail without saying "Flip off, loozer!".

When approachin' someone from behind, try to put a paper sine on his back that says "Kick my ass!" or just do it yerself.

Don't wave at a cop. They get suspishious real easy, eh?

After you pass a cop, don't look back at him. It implies you don't trust him....which is pretty flippin' obveous, eh?

Ridin' another man's bike or snowmobbile without his permission is almost as normle as havin' sex with his wife, but do NOT ever try it with another man's moose.

Always fill yer beer glass so it foams over just a bit.

A real man don't talk much; he saves his breath for breathin' and for tokin' up.

No matter how weary and hungry you are after a long day bummin' smokes, always try a move on the waitress who is havin' a smoke break behind the Tim's donuts. You never know when she might say "yes".

Cuss all you want, but not in court, eh? They don't like it for some reason.

Complain about the cookin' and you will get even more food.

Always drink your beer with your free hand, jerk off with the other one.

Do not jerk off after handlin' hot peppers, cayen pepper, and other stuff like that.

A real man don't give a FLIP! He complains a lot, cos the skweeky wheel gets the greese, eh?

Avoid unnnecssary danger. Cowards live way longer than heroes do.

A real man always helps someone, even a stranger or an enemy, if there is a way of gettin' some free beer from them in return.

Never use another man's rubber!

Be hospitable to chicks. Any female who wanders in, includin' even a total absolloot skank, is welcome at the dinner table, in the front hall, the backyard, the bedroom, on the roof, the basement floor...basically anywheres.

NEVER give your enemy a fightin' chance! Hit him when he ain't lookin'.

Never wake another man by shakin' or touchin' him, as he might reelize you are robbin' his stash.

Real men boast constantly, eh? The one who can brag the longest, the loudest, and the best will probly get a date with one of the waiterresses at the Iron Horse after work.

And there ya have it! The Code of the East.

- Shane