Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.....

Collapsible four-octave harmonium (actually an American Organ), marked Nishikawa & Son, but probably by Mason & Hamlin 18880s/90s?
Non-collapsible ditto, marked Nishikawa & Sons, so presumably later, actual maker unknown.
Five-octave organ. Can't remember the make, and can't get at it to check. Until I dismantle it to fix the bellows, I don't know whether it's a harmonium or an American.
Indian harmonium by Dwarkin - the company credited with the development of the instrument.
Harmoniflute (AKA lap organ), no name, but almost certainly Buisson Btevette, Paris, Ca1850s.
Guitar, Fylde Falstaff. 1979.
Fylde Signature cittern, 2005, I think.
Bohm Waldzither, date unknown, probably first half of 20thC
National tricone plectrum guitar, Ca1928.
Mandolinetto (guitar- shaped mandolin) Neopolitan Patent Mandolin Co. Date unknown.
Langeleik, made by me, Ca 1974.
Rather unauthentic rebec, by me also Ca '74.
Psaltery, me again, Ca'79.
Bowed psaltery, me Ca'73.
Balalaika, Perl Gold, Ca '68.
Cheapo Chinese ukelele, can't remember the make (Skylark?) and it's not to hand. C1970?
Hungarian cetera, date unknown, but modern. Not to hand to check maker.
Spanish laud, Greek bouzouki, Comments as above.
Baroque guitar, by me, 1991.
Tenor viol, John Rose copy, me, 1990.
Renaissance 6-course lute, me, 1989.
Fiddle (or violin, if you want to be proper), unknown make and date.
Ditto, ditto, but pre- 1883.
Neopolitan mandolin, date unknown, and not to hand, so can't ckeck maker.
Mandriola (12-stringmandolin), make and date unknown, but probably early 20thC.
Ukrainian concert bandoura. Make unpronounceable (by me, anyway), and date unknown, but modern.
Unfinished ottavino (octave spinet) from Woods kit.
One-string Stroh fonofiddle. Early 20thC.
Lira da Braccio (Renaissance 7-string bourdon fiddle) by me, 1991. (Currently out on loan)
7-string fretless banjo. George P Matthew, Ca1880s.
6-string fretless banjo, of unknown make or date, but probably 1880s.
Crappy longarm banjo, East European make, I think. Probably '70s.
Short-scale 5-string banjo (A-scale, or maybe Ladies' banjo). S S Stewart 2nd grade. date unknown.
Short-scale tenor banjo, of unknown make or date, probably prewar.
Composite Pony (short-scale banjeurine). I think the neck might be a Stewart, but I'm not an expert. Date unknown.
Banjolin. Despite any ideas you might get from sellers on Ebay, this is NOT a mandolin banjo. It's a different instrument. Not a lot of people know that. Make and date unknown, but early 20thC
Mandolin banjo. Waliostro 'Zither Mandolin'. Early 20thC.
Composite mandolin banjo; neck from a Portuguese mandolin banjo married to the pot from a John Grey uke banjo. Date unknown.
Piano; Chappell overstrung upright with concert keyboard. My mother got it as a reconditioned instrument around 1969, so original date unknown.
Renaissance bass flute in G, Barbara Stanley, Ca 1978.
Baroque flute, Stanley Toulson, Ca 1980.
My Grandad's F band flute, Ca 1900.
A 4-keyed boxwood F flute, unknown make, date unknown, but probably early 19thC.
My Grandad's Bflat fife. unknown date, can;t remember make, but think it has a Liverpool name on it.
Rudall Carte 6-keyed piccolo, unknown date.
Half dozen assorted fifes/piccolos, 1- 4- 5 and 6-keyed, in A, Bflat, D E flat and high F.
Renaissance soprano recorder by Moeck, Ca 1978
Sopranino recorder, think it's marked Boosey & Hawkes, Ca 1979.
Garkleinfloetlein, Hopf, Ca1977.
Alto & tenor crumhorns, J Wood, C 1975.
Soprano rauschpfeife (stricktly speaking, we're supposed to call it a scheierpfeife these days but old habits... Gunter Korber,Ca1973.
Alto Shawm, Gunter Korber, Ca1980.
Spanish gaita, make unknown, Ca 1976
Cheapo highland pipes. Probably Pakistani make, but with McLeod chanter. Early '70s.
English (Northumbrian) double pipes. Julian Goodacre, 2007, IIRC.
Tunisian reed pipe. 1970s.
Musette (Simple oboe). Funkenstein, Birkenhead, date unknown.
Half a dozen Jew's harps.
Several ocarinas.
Various whistles,end-blown and side-blown bamboo flutes. (Including D Shaw, Generation, Clarkes and Anon) and one or two oddball whistly things I can't put a name to.
Mute cornet. John Hanchet, 1970s.
Bass rackett. J Wood, Ca 1974.
Cow horn. Think I got it in Fort William in the '70s
Hohner chroatic harmonica, date unknown; somebody gave it to me around 1970.
15 or so diatonic harmonicas, including, Seydel Super lows in lowG Low A Low Bflat and lowC, Hohner special 20 low D, Suzuki promaster, Lee Oskar and Hohner Gs, Super Vampers (late '70s and till working!) in A & B, Hohners in Bflat, C D, F,Fsharp and a piccolo G.
Three-row button box (Csharp/D/G with 14 basses). Saltarelle Tramontane, bought secon-hand around 2004.
C system button box, 78 bass with converter for freebass. Pigini, bought second hand around 2005.
English treble concertina 48-key, Lachenal, unknown date.
Crane duet concertina. Henry Crabb, 8-sided 62-key. Date unknown.
Hayden duet concertina. Bastari no. 2 square model, 67-key.
Flutina. no name, but almost certainly Buisson Brevette, Paris, C1850s.
Old Hohner 1-row pokerwork melodeon in C. unknown date.
Small (8 bass) Hohner piano accordian. Date unknown.
Bodhran, and 2 tabors by trefor Owen, mid '70s
Bodhran of unknown make, C2005.
Pair Renaissance kettledrums, '70s
Chinese spirit drom.
Finger cymbals, bones, stepping clogs, morris clogs, washboard.
Half dozen other things which aren't mine, but loaned, left to see if I can sort them out, or in one case, left with me to get them out of the way of an acrimonious divorce.
My son and daughter, between them have half a dozen guitars, a cavalquinho (SP?) violin, flute, alto sax, trombone, euphonium, alto recorder, plectrum banjo, tenor banjo, glockenspiel, 5-drum kit, pair of timbales and 3 cowbells, a keyboard (or clothes shelf, to be more accurate - it lives in my daughter's room), and some other odds and ends of percussion. Oh, and some Irish dance shoes.
How many's that? Can\t be arsed counting.
JK.