For what it's worth, this is what I believe Harry Champion actually sang.......

THE END OF MY OLD CIGAR

Twenty Christmases ago, the landlord at the Star
Said, "Here's a Christmas box for you, a nine-penny cigar"
I smoked it up to Easter, then me dear devoted wife
Said "Why not throw the end away?" I said, "I - Not on your life.

With the end of me old cigar, hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!"
I walk down Piccadilly and they fancy I'm the Shah.
It isn't because I'm handsome, or I'm a lah-di-dah.
I tickled the peoples' fancy with the end of my old cigar.

The other Whitsun Monday we all toddled to the zoo,
I puffed away on my cigar and choked a kangaroo.
The monkey started coughing and the tiger had a sneeze
but when the elephant said "here stop that smoking, if you please"

With the end of me old cigar, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah
I tickled up the elephant that came from Zanzibar
"And what a funny tail he's" got says my wife to her ma
"That isn't the elephant's tail" I says, "it's the end of me old cigar"

With the end of me old cigar, cigar, cigar, cigar, cigar,
I tickled up the elephant that came from Zanzibar
"And what a funny tail he's" got says my wife to her ma
"That isn't the elephant's tail" I says, "it's the end of me old cigar"