Horses for courses! I play in two bands. One is more or less a dictatorship (guess who's the dictator! :-) ), the other a democracy. They both work for different reasons.

On a linguistic level, it's quite acceptable to say "my band", irrespective of the organisation of the band, in the same way that I refer to "my family" (or "my people", as I learnt to say at the hearth!) without implying that I control them in any way or have superior organisational status.