My religion is played on turf over 90 mins or 98 if you are away to Man Utd. Not that we get that privilege these days.

If I put what religious dudes call atheism to my Creed I would say that my brand of religion (Sheffield Wednesday) has less adherents than many other religions and the evidence shows my claims of the only team worth supporting would be seen to be shallow claims. Still, faith is faith and truth is truth. The one true path leads to S6 on a Saturday afternoon.

I don't want others to follow my religion and if you show me respect how the hell can we argue in the pub?

That's what puts it apart from most organised religions. It tolerates other religions, especially when taking 6 points off them in a season.

Oh. It doesn't tell me how to run my life either. It accepts that I will ring Praise or Grumble on BBC Radio Sheffield and have the odd bitch.

But the rest of the time it accepts I don't need someone to tell me how to behave and trusts me to be a responsible person who does the odd good deed for its own sake. It doesn't judge me when I piss in the bushes when staggering home from the pub and doesn't make me feel guilty about coveting my neighbour's missus. (To give a hypothetical situation.   Dear.   Fancy a cuppa? No. Just posting on mudcat my sweet. I didn't even realise he had a missus actually. ..