I'm the caree rather than the carer, but thought I'd put my 2p in.
Try & get a copy of 'Inside I'm Dancing' & watch the Torchwood ep 'Fragments'. I've been described as "half-disabled, half-not" & been mistaken for someone who has become disabled later in life.
Nursing homes aren't generally very good – i've been in a few for Respite & they seem to be more about what's convenient for the staff rather than the patients, & some staff have been very nasty. My parents said if they hadn't already got a holiday booked I'd've gone straight home. They cared for me tirelessly, & they always drummed it into me that it wasn't all about me.a
So I/we deliberately chose a care home without nursing. I don't love it, but nor do I hate it. Living here I look, act & sound normal. I see residents & staff as adopted family (I've always seen carers as adoptive relatives anyway). What I need might change but I don't think it will that drastically.
There are still some things that need straightening out.
"It won't be forever, it'll just feel like it."