Ok. I claim to interfere in healthcare, which I do. Also, my responsible adult is a consultant surgeon.

We are both familiar with the concept of never putting anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.

However..

Ten mins prior to setting off on holiday today I decided to a) put a cotton bud in my ear and b) retrieve it sans the cotton wool tip. It appears to be stuck to my eardrum. The GP practice near where I have rented a cottage looks like getting some work tomorrow.

As we both work in healthcare, she is so happy that I am partially deaf when she is talking at me and that day 1 shall be spent in a surgery being called a dozy pillock.

I assume this is divine retribution for starting a heretic religion on an adjacent thread. Watch yer back Steve!