Maybe what this thread needs at this juncture is someone who is a crap singer and is keenly aware of the fact. Move over — I am that singer. (And several of the contributors to this thread are also aware of this fact, though of course they're too nice to say so…) I can report that over the quarter century in which I have inflicted my rude tones on the folk-listening public of South Yorkshire, no-one has ever upbraided me for my shortcomings, either in general earshot or in "A word in your ear…" fashion. Nor have I ever heard anyone else publicly admonished for this offence. I also have a dozen years experience of running folk clubs, and never in that time have I discouraged a singer from getting up and singing, whatever my personal opinion of their abilities. What can we conclude from this? That S Yorks is a standards-free zone? That we're too sweet-natured or pusillanimous to make our private feelings known? Or that I simply don't pay attention enough? Maybe all these things.

Come to think of it, I recall that a now sadly deceased resident of a Sheffield club had a policy of sprinting to the bar whenever my turn to sing came round. Strange that his glass always attained a state of perfect emptiness at that exact point in the evening…