Alex, I think I need to invite you down for dinner. You sound like my kind of dinner guest!

I'll be having the family (both sides) over on Christmas Day for the annual event of gluttony. We're starting with Crab and Shrimp Bisque, made with half-and-half. This will be followed by Virginia ham glazed with honey and mustard, sweet potatoes with praline sauce, greens with garlic and tomato, corn bread dripping with butter, and ending with pecan pie and coffee. No booze, though, too many recovered (and not-so-recovered) alcoholics. Seconds will be enforced, exercise will be banned, and not a single carrot stick or lettuce leaf will be allowed in the house.

Burp.