This is a fabulous song and one of my alltime favourites.

I just looked back at my first post of the lyrics on this thread and wonder what I was "On" at the time of posting!?

They're not at all the words I use when I sing it.

Here's the words I use, and apologies to Pete for the discrepancies but after 20-30 years of singing them I don't think I'd be able to change them to the original.

THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
(Pete Betts)


Dad's drunk again and he's brought lots of men
And their wives back home from the pub
They've a shortage of beer but you need have no fear
Bert's gone round the back door of the club
Someone's playing a piano as if using a sledgehammer
And crucifying 'There Goes My Heart'
And there's a burst through the door, and it's Bert and what's more
Hes' got the beer, so we're ready to start

Chorus:
And ee, how we could sing, what joy those nights would bring
Singing for hours on end
Once we'd found the key - oh what harmony
Those boozie voices could lend
"Heart of My Heart", just for a start
"Walkin' My Baby Back Home"
And when it comes to an end it's "let's sing it again"
They don't write them like that any more

Ma's in the kitchen tryin' to knock up a snack
From the chicken we had this afternoon
Jack says, "Where's the toilet?" Ma says, "Out the back,"
And by the look - not a minute too soon
Then a laugh shakes the whole house, Jack's fell in the coalhouse
And man, he's as drunk as a newt
But with his face coloured black, he's not taken aback
He sings "Mammy" and the rest follows suit

Half past one in the mornin', and Dad's started yawnin'
He's got to be workin' by six
A bored audience is watchin' whilst Kenny is botchin'
And messin' up easy card tricks
Ah but it's time to go now, and Dads got the knowhow
To make 'em all want to go home
'Cos when you're all full of beer the last thing you want to hear
Is a tune on his paper and comb.


Cheers

Bugsy