"The Coming Home Party", by Diane Hildebrand, lyrics by Jack Keller. THE COMING HOME PARTY (lyrics by Jack Keller, music by Diane Hildebrand) I used to be the first to laugh When Mrs. Jennings took a bath And left the window open for the neighbors But had we looked, we might have seen That she was really very clean And given her the credit of her labors And Mr. James, where was he? The man that we had to see And who are we to think that it was funny? When as she raised her glass She said she wasn't sure, he might be dead Or somewhere making love to all his money She held her breath expectantly While everybody stared at me As I approached to greet Miss Mary blooming, "Hello" I tweaked her nose and kissed the tip I wiped the powder from my lip And just because I did, it left her fuming I almost gave myself away When Captain Graves came up to say Glad to see me home and he was tickled And now I'm sure I had excused The way I used to be abused It was worth it all to see him pickled The atmosphere was getting thick The guy beside me looking sick I would've helped, at least I thought I ought to He flashed me an appealing grin I stopped and took the feeling in I wasn't sure but something told me not to I knew I couldn't take much more I started making for the door And as I passed my date, I let her kiss me I grabbed my coat and stepped outside I stuck my thumb out for a ride Departing knowing they would never miss me (Nighty night little angels, nighty night...) It was recorded under duress by Tiny Tim (one of several songs on his "God Bless" album forced on him by his producer - he later disavowed it - but why? It was deliciously nasty).
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