This version is pithy and witty. I may well learn it. This version appears to be from Australia.

The Clancys recorded the original one in this discussion as a recitation.

The tune may have been put to the original words by the Isle of Wight singer/ songwriter Laurie Say (who I got the song from) in the late 60s or very early 70s.

LAMENT OF THE ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED COW
By William L. Jessiman

Though I have just given birth to a heifer,
And of pride and of milk I am full,
It is sad to relate
that my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull.

I have never been naughty, I swear it,
In spite of the calf I have borne.
By Farmer Brown's tractor,
I'm virga intacta.
I have not had the bull by the horn.

No bull has embraced me with passion;
I've not had the ghost of a binge;
I haven't been loved,
but ruthlessly shoved
With aseptic disposable syringe.

How cheerless the farmyard and meadows,
The cowshed seems gloomy and gray,
For the one bit of fun
in the dreary year's run
Has by science been taken away.

I know that farming's a business
In which we must all pull our weight.
I'd pull and I'd pull
for a nicely built bull,
Synthetic arrangements I hate.

It must not be thought that I'm jealous.
There are things a cow should not say.
But the Vets and Ag Reps
who deprive us of sex
Still get it the old fashioned way.