Here's a song of mine which I've performed at various singarounds:


Some years ago now, the folk scene I found,
The people were great, and I loved the folk sound,
Went to visit a folk club, enjoyed everything,
And I dreamed of the day that I'd stand up and sing.
But then someone whispered, "A word in your ear ...
"A man's not a folkie, without a good beard!"

   You must have a beard! You must have a beard!
   A man's not a folkie, without a good beard!

Well I did start performing – I took that big gamble!
From Manchester way, I went on a ramble,
Bade farewell to Liverpool, and Swansea Town,
Wondered how many roads a man has to walk down!
But the other performers suspiciously peered;
"He sings like a folkie, but not with a beard!"

Then I started to practise my brand new guitar,
(An accordion, the wife said, was one step too far!)
Well I learned how to pick, and I learned how to strum,
(You do one with your fingers, and one with your thumb.)
But everyone asked, "Who's this guy that's appeared?
"He plays like a folkie, but minus the beard!"

   You must have a beard ...

I popped into a pub that I used to frequent,
Informed the landlady my sovereigns were spent,
I asked for a loan, with a nod and a wink,
She said to her husband, "Now what do you think?"
He answered her, "Nay! His cheque might not be cleared;
"He talks like a folkie, but he's got no beard!"

Then I wore leather sandals, and comfy brown cords,
And a Fairport tour t-shirt from 20-04;
I ate fry-ups for breakfast, and pasties for lunch,
Drank plenty of ale, and I got me a paunch!
But all of the others just sat there and stared ...
"He's looks like a folkie, but sans any beard!"

   You must have a beard ...

Well, I went down to Sidmouth, I liked it a lot,
Joined in all the songs, whether I knew them or not!
On the seafront I tried Morris dancing ... with bells ...
'The Blue Eyed Stranger' I got to know rather well!
But the people at Sidmouth said, "This is so weird,
"He acts like a folkie, but where is the beard?"

But it just wouldn't grow ... oh, I had so much trouble;
I wanted a 'W. G. Grace' ... I got stubble!   
But ... some ladies wear lipstick and ... what's its name?
And I can seek help from outside, just the same!
And so, to this weekend, I've come well-prepared ...
Now at last I'm a folkie, a man with a beard!

   You must have a beard ...

(A false beard is of course donned at the end of the last verse!)

Andy7