"Hi Honey!"

Mother cat with several kittens was walking
in the park when a handsome Tom cat
walked by and said, "Hi, Honey."

Mother cat said, "Don't you 'Honey' me!
You said we were only fighting!"

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"Cat's Diary"

DAY 752-My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that
keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow
I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761-Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded. Must try this at
the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 762-Slept all day so that I could annoy
my captors with sleep deprivation, incessant
pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765-Decapitated a mouse and brought
them the headless body, in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their hearts. They only
cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm. Must try this
with their baby. . .