https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9bioqXyblU

This is my transcription, I've tried to type with the local dialect (and coming from central Scotland and having lived in many areas, I'm reasonably tuned in to dialects)

THE RUMOUR

Now when it comes to spreading, there are many things to name,
There's butter, there's fire, and then of course there's fame,
But the thing that spreads the quickest, it's the fastest you'll agree,
It's the spoken word of rumour, just listen and you'll see,
Now the rumour I will speak of here, was started by a man in INVERNESS,
Who whispered it from behind his hand
Did you hear what I heard, Wullie, man that's awful, yes that's right
You'd never have believed it, man, it gave me such a fright,
Poor Wullie was quite upset when he heard that this had been,
So he straightway phoned his brother George,
Who lived in ABERDEEN,
Oh dearie me said Geordie, man thats affa, whit a shock,
I'll hae tae tell yer cousin Rab, when next I'm in the Broch,
But instead he told his sister Jean, the bus conductress lass,
She told Ste'en Hive in LAURENCEKIRK, and in unco toon she passed,
Well thats whit I heard onnyway, Aye just that, keep it tae yersel,
And they did keep it just like her, And couldn't wait to tell,
Until she reached old FORFAR-toon, where once more nothing loathe,
She told it to a fisherman, who told it to ARBROATH,
Why ch-awa was their reaction, their hauf, just dearaye me,
And they couldnae wait to tell the tale when they gaed into DUNDEE,
Well eh never, eh'll nae say a word man, never in meh life,
But they crossed the water and of course the story's spread to FIFE,
It was told at every meetin place, and spread fae door to door,
They listened cautiously at first but soon said give us more,
So more and more and mair and mair the rumour flee'd around
And started oot in capitals in EDINBURGH toon,
They shouted it in LEITH,
But oh the tone grew more discrete,
As it pessed up Leith walk and along the length of Princes Street,
There somebody took it on a train tae GLASGOW,
And that's how, If you live there you'll probably have heard the rumour now,
Not that that's where it finished for it carried on and passed,
By a steamer going westward to Norn Ireland and BELFAST,
Is that the truth, the Irish said, I tot it was a shame,
They didn't like the rumour, so they sent it home again,
Tae STRANRAER it came, northwards over AYRSHIRE and KINTYRE,
Where it spread, they say, quite freely, like the heather was on fire,
Over MULL and TOBERMORY, MALLAIG and that is why,
Once again by way of watter, the rumour came to SKYE,
But they couldn't tell it further, and the reason is because,
By the time it reached the island, they'd forgotten what it was!