My husband doesn't buy me flowers or candy - I would wonder what was wrong if he did! He does, occasionally, behave in the same way as leenia's DH and fix things without being asked and arranges surprises for me - such as planted a Magnolia tree as a birthday present while I was in the UK. Before I came to live in Maine he planted tulips in a pattern of the cross of St George, so that I would have the reminder of England in the spring.

On the marriage bit - we had to get married so that I could stay in Maine - otherwise I'm not sure I would have been worried about the legalities. These days there do appear to be a lot more couples 'living in sin' and a lot more kids being born out of wedlock - as is the case with my granddaughter. To my knowledge she has never been labelled as a bastard - that seems to be very much a thing of the past.

IMHO a true marriage is a meeting of minds, of working out a system of living together, if not in total harmony, at least without wanting to kill each other on a regular basis. It is give and take, appreciation of each other, of wanting the best for your partner and so many other facets that go to make up a true union. The legal/religious bit, to me, is a side issue - if you want it, go for it, otherwise just accept the relationship for what it is.