Mass murdering psychopaths are among the least of my worries right now, Mr KrUEger...with the "U" first...so kindly toddle off, would you? I already have to deal with an arrogant brute of a husband who thinks he is Britain's authority on everything, an insane journalist (Hector Ballsworthy) who hounds my family members from pillar to post whilst composing ludicrous theories about reptilian bloodlines in the upper classes, and a niece who is attempting to make Miley Cyrus look like a modest and virtuous young woman by comparison! You may think that you have problems, sir, but you have no idea.

*PR