YOU CAN'T GET MANY PIMPLES ON A POUND OF PICKLED PORK
Words and music by Fred E. Terry, ©1914
As recorded by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)

1. I've been sent out by the missis just to do a bit of shopping.
In every blessed shop for pickled pork have I been popping.
I've been in Dansy's hat-shop, but the wife don't want a bonnet.
She wants a pound of pickled pork with lots of pimples on it.

CHORUS: Well, you can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork,
Whether it comes from China,
Japan or Carolina.
You can go to Pimlico, Chicago or New York,
But you can't get many pimples on a pound of pickled pork.

2. I stood listening down the street at several suffragettes a-shouting.
I raised me hat and flapped me hands each time they started spouting.
At last I said to one old girl, all thoughts of black eyes scorning,
'Now you can get a vote, then get a man, then get let out next morning.'

CHORUS: Ah, but you can't....

3. When I started out this morning, I had sixpence wrapped in paper.
I've only got three-ha'pence now; the rest has gone in vapour.
When I get home, I'm sure the wife will start her crockery flinging.
It's ten to one she'll kill me, then I'll hear the angels singing:

CHORUS: You can't get many pa-himples on a pa-hound of pa-hickled pa-hork....