A handful of old men with fairly shit views repeatedly taken to task on folk music forum. A major victory for gay rights

by our political correspondent

The battle against homophobia has taken a massive step forward today. Gay rights activists were thrilled and delighted to learn that a small handful of geographically seperated elderly men from the UK, posting on the general discussion section of an American folk music forum, have been repeated and emphatically told their views are wrong in the strongest possible terms. On conditions of strict anonymity, we were able to speak to one, or possibly three, of the organisers of the campaign, who would only answer to the name of "Musket".

"We consider that our campaign of vilification has been a resounding success," Musket enthused."None of the old men involved has actually changed their minds about anything, but that's hardly the point. It's as much about the thrill of the chase as the actual point of climax. We have also been able to resoundingly demonstrate that if you throw your weight around on these issues with the social graces of a water buffalo who has has spent the past decade grazing on nothing but high grade peyote, you too can completely alienate even the staunchest of your allies. That's the sort of moral triumph that gives us cause for celebration."

When asked about the rationale for the campaign, the Muskets retorted, "We believe these pensioners are breaking the law. However putting this to the test by reporting our concerns to the police is frankly not a lot of fun. Why do that when you can not only take repeatedly the moral high ground, but give it such a a thorough thrashing it end up looking like a Tory cabinet minister's arse?"

Pausing only to enquire as to whether your correspondent's wife "took it up the arse," the resplendent trio marched dewey-eyed back towards the battlefield for the next skirmish in this most important of struggles.

Unfortunately none of the subjects of Musket's brave campaign were available for comment. A source close to Mudcat suggested they were otherwise engaged in nurturing a symbiotic yet strangely sexless relationship with the various Muskets. "Love may yet be in the air," the source mysteriously commented.

Meanwhile, police spokespeople in London, Manchester and other cities reported a significant recent rise in violent homophobic attacks. When asked why the splendid campaign waged by the Muskets had failed to reverse this worrying trend, they declined to comment.

Excellent reporting! --mudelf