I have transcribed this as best I can from a recording I made in a noisy pub back in Cheltenham in 2005. There are a couple of places [marked by square brackets] where I am not sure if I got the exact words.

Please note this general declaration from Ron Shuttleworth : "If attributed, any of my songs may be performed, LIVE and without p.a. by anyone, anywhere."

When I was young girl, aged 18 years or so
In the evenings and at weekend around the pubs I'd go
In my jeans and sloppy sweater, with my pint all in my hand
You could not be certain if I were a maiden or a man
A maiden or a man, a maiden or a man
You could not be certain if I were a maiden or a man

I always watched the morris men; I never missed a show,
And that I was a female it seemed they did not know.
The squire he came up to me; he shook me by the hand
He said "Why don't you join us and become a morris man?"
Become a morris man, etc

They said I was a natural, and in a year or so
Of course I made the 'A' team, and I danced at every show
And when they made me Number One I often had to smile
To think I led the morris and a maiden all the while

We went [out at the?] weekend, and in some village hall
There were two hundred morris men, and me amongst them all
And as I lay in my sleeping bag, I never was afraid
I could sleep with all those morris men and still remain a maid

I would have been a morris man until this very day
If I had not been fancied by a handsome chap, but gay.
He tried to proposition me: I said I was a maid
And straightway to my comrades, my secret he betrayed.

I thought our squire would have a fit "Now here's a [dreadful?] thing
And if our secret should get out, we'll be drummed out of the Ring"
And at the end of it he sighed, "I'm really so afraid,
But I'll let you keep your baldrics – such a dancer that you made.

At first I joined a ladies side, but that was not for me
For with women dancing morris, I never could agree
But if the fellows can't turn out because they're short of men
I'll put on my bells and baldrics, and I'll morris once again
I'll morris once again I'll morris once again
I'll put on my bells and baldrics, and I'll morris once again