Today is better but I've been too busy to sit and think. I made a double batch of chicken cacciatore and that's in the crock pot, I baked 2 yams for tomorrow's lunch and will make some rice in just a bit to go with dinner. Dishes are done, laundry needs to get in the dryer, the counters are looking good and I'm going to work on clearing up some of the piles of things around the kitchen.....harvesting baskets, a canning pot, summer coolers, etc. I also have plans of cleaning out a very large drawer that I like to keep aluminum foil, Saran wrap, baggies and the like in that has become a catch all for bread ties, spoon rests, a toothpick box that has exploded, warantees that are not needed, etc. I was looking for my corkscrew today (wine for the chicken) and had to DIG for it. I found a random bag of flax seeds in there, some half packs of PEZ candies for Jeremiah and all kinds of random things...yep..that's getting emptied today.

We are having company for Thanksgiving. My first reaction was a groan...I'm just not feeling it but it's giving me something to focus on (planning/deep cleaning, etc) and that's a good thing.

My Nana doesn't want a viewing/wake, a church service or even a graveside service. As it happens all too often, when she got sick, her church family disappeared. No calls. No visits. No cards. It was like she evaporated. She had been a member of her church for over 70 years...a very active member and it was a slap in the face to her. She said she felt like she was merely the number on her pledge card. I don't blame her one bit for feeling as she does....so....she also felt that way about people who didn't come to see her while she was alive...why bother now? We watched distant family come for a grave side service for my Pappy...people who live not far away yet never picked up the phone or stopped by to see him but then came to his funeral service. It ticked Nana off. Those same people promised to stop by and see Nana but in those 8 remaining years, never did. She doesn't want them at her funeral. Immediate family only. No speaker. No minister. So.....I am finding it hard to imagine how that will go...the 5 of us standing around looking at a hole in the ground? Sharing stories of Nana or silently standing there doing our best to hold ourselves together? I have no idea. I have decided that I am going to play my violin. None of us know what her favorite hymn was so I have picked a song. My Nana's name is Grace and for many years, she has been my Amazing Grace...she was a very strong woman who worked hard all her life with an irreverent sense of humor and always a twinkle in her eye, no matter how bad things were. Even in her last hours, while we played cards at her bedside, we'd joke and nudge Nana and she would raise her eyebrows. We thought she was leaving us on many occasions but she would always surprise everyone and bounce back to her good natured self. She was amazing....my Amazing Grace...so what better song to play? There is a verse in that song that is seldom sung but it is the verse that helped me decide that this is indeed the right song for Nana. It goes like this: "Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease, I shall possess, within the veil, A life of joy and peace.

A single violin playing her song. I like it. And I love her.

Michelle