set boundaries for what you will and won't do. no martyrs needed. provide something happy and sparkly for young children...talk with older ones about finances. don't stretch out the santa claus myth past the age of 7 at the very latest..i am shocked to see letters in the paper written to santa by ten year olds. have a family meeting and see who wants to do what. if no one wants to trim the tree, then don't. if no one wants to bake christmas cookies, don't. if someone does, fine. go to church if you want to, have a nice dinner, have some twinkly lights, sing some carols, have some extra chocolate, keep control of your money and your time. you do not need to fly across the country with toddlers...visit midsummer instead. get one gift to mercy corps or something in everyone[s name and just give gifts to the younger kids and maybe gift cards to older..and if you have elderly relatives that you think need something. give to the poor. don't use the good china if no one wants to handwash it.