Johnny Verbeck

Once there was a Dutchman
His name was Johnny Verbeck
He made the finest sausages and sauerkraut and speck.
He made the finest sausages that'll evermore be seen,
Till one day he invented a sausage makin machine.

Chorus:
Oh, Mr. Johnny Verbeck how could you be so mean,
I told you, you'd be sorry for inventin' that machine
now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
For they'll be ground to sausages in Johnny Verbeck's machine.

One day a boy came walkin' a walkin' thru the door.
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.
The boy began to whistle, He whistled up a tune.
And all the little sausages went dancin' round the room.

Chorus

One day the machine got busted the darn thing wouldn't go,
So Johnny Verbeck he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife she had a nightmare, went walkin' in her sleep
She gave it a yank a deuce of crank and Johnny Verbeck was meat!

Chorus:

Alternate Verses
One day tha meat inspector came knockin at tha door,
He said "I'll start a lookin or give me money more."
Well johnny got real angry an pushed him in tha meat,
he fired up the old machine an now theres more ta eat.

One day there was a shortage there was no meat ta grind,
So johnny he called up tha pound ta see what he could find.
They said were outta busness we keep tha strays no more,
But we'll send all our future finds directly to your door."

http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/johnnyverbeck.html

Other alternate lyrics:

Oh once there was a fat boy (arms in a circle at waist level) who walked into the store
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor
The boy began to whistle, he whistled up a tune
Now all the little sausages went dancing around the room.
(Skip around the room while singing this chorus. Sometimes people link arms and spin in a circle for this chorus too.)
From the Youtube video below

One day the meat inspector came a-knocking at the door,
He said, "I've come to check your shop, so give me money more!"
Johnnie got real angry, and pushed him in the meat.
He fired up the old machine and now there's more to eat.

One day a scouter leader, he had a brilliant thought.
He'd spend the cash in Johnnie's store for meat that he had sought.
"Mexican Lasagna," the recipe did read.
The irony was that the taste was fabulous, indeed!

Have you ever wondered, when you go camp.
The food is good and plentiful and never gives a cramp.
But early in the morning you'll see the trucker go,
And lettered on the driver's door is "JOHNNIE VERBECK & CO."

Now Donna Rebeck was Johnny's wife, the fairest ever seen,
But he left her alone to weep at home while he puttered with his machine.
She grew morose and leaned too close, and it ripped her shirt off at the seam
But Johnny Rebeck never noticed a speck as he ran his sausage machine.

Donna woke with a start to see Johnny depart through the jaws of the machine.
But being a practical woman, she threw in spices and fennel greens.
And she had a great sale and many's the tale of the tastiest sausage seen.
She said with a quirk, "He put himself in his work."
That's Johnny Rebeck's machine!
Source: http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/song-midis/Johnnie_Verbeck.htm

One different intro:

Away out in the forest, there lived a mean old man
His name was Mr. Johnny Rebeck, and he could surely plan
All the neighbors' cats and dogs were always at his feet
So he invented a machine that turned them all to meat
Source: http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/j010.html

You can hear a very enthusiastic rendition here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdyrYGguYr8