A very wealthy, pious American was on pilgrimage to England to visit as many historical cathedrals and churches as possible to marvel at the magnificent works erected in the name of the Almighty.

As he toured Canterbury cathedral he noticed a discreetly placed gold telephone. He turned to one of the church officials and enquired about the provenance such a modern device in that venerable place of worship. The young curate replied that it was a direct line to the almighty. "May I call him?" asked the wealthy American.

"Yes, but the standard charge is £100,000 as it is, after all, a long distance number," replied the Curate.

"Perhaps later," mumbled the American who in the best traditions of such people had only got to the state of financial security that he enjoyed by being very careful to control his expenditure.

A couple of days later he was at Winchester Cathedral when he espied a similar gold telephone. Again he enquired about it and what would be the cost if he were to ring the Almighty. The answer and explanation was the same; and was not surprised to hear the same reply on a number of other occasions.

Having ventured north he was marvelling at the glory of York Minster set in the middle of God's own county of Yorkshire.

There was, once again, a gold telephone. Again the American asked a member of the minster staff if this was a direct line and what was the cost of a call to the almighty.

"Indeed it is sir," replied a young curate, and the cost of the call is 20pence.

"20 pence you say, how can that be? In other cathedrals the cost is £100,000."

"Well sir, it is only a local call!"


Who needs mere kings!